Money, money, money, it makes the world go round.

We could all use a little more, and I don’t think it’d be hyperbolic to assume that if a lump sum were to fall into your lap, you’d do a happy little jig and run off to brag about it.

But you should be careful when it comes to playing the lottery. Not just because it’s a numbers game stacked overwhelmingly against you (though that’s a pretty good reason by itself), but because the lottery is prone to false alarms and misfires. Maybe you read a number wrong, maybe the lottery announcer guy mumbled, or maybe, as is the case with Mister Penny Jones, someone pulled your leg with a bum ticket.

Real ticket or not, if you do find yourself possibly winning the lottery, play it smart. Don’t spread it around to your friends, don’t quit your job and curse out your boss, and make sure that money is stored somewhere safe and secure. Don’t be a Penny Jones; there’s only one reason you’d bring a novelty foam middle finger to work, and it’s not a reason you should be indulging.